Nora Desmond at a restaurant

Published by Darron Toy on



Lyle Waggoner and her guest David Hartman and Paula Kelly's you crackle I can see if y'all have anything you want to say before we get started yes your boyfriend David you came here instead so you want me to say hello what's your name Kathy no David Kathy's here she's no place else and she says hello hey we'll be right back max it's been years is it really you it's really you the lower monkeys you have a table for Miss Nora dismount Nora Desmond coming here we don't want that to be mobbed by thousands of her worshipping fans I understand yes we must keep it quiet integrate nor at this minute this star who single-handedly made Hollywood what it was it's coming out of retirement to eat oh you can trust me man mum's the word I'll prepare a table all right you swing it carrying it team oh man let's don't let the autograph hounds hurt me please Mac please do not worry madam I will protect you as I have day and night for the past 40 years Thank You Mac hello who are you thanks hello Who am I you are not a decimal what anyone to know I'm here not even need you understand you sorry madam may I suck it is my honor to serve the great Nora Desmond that was wonderful hello who are you right now well if you're max Who am I you are naughty Santa really yes one of my favorites one of your favorites come back miss max isn't it yes I'm ash fence why can't I just have a quiet dinner alone without creating all this bedlam and frenzy D course you are a superstar yes I am because you are a legend you're right because you are Nora dissonant mmm-hmm Nexus I feel is it I'm being watched it's nobody madam it's only a picture of Rudolph Valentino nonsense mattes Rudy hasn't made a picture in years say hello to him anyway hello Rudy how have you been that's what's the matter with Rudy why doesn't he answer me he only made silent pictures next when real will madam master you are staring at me there is no one looking at you madam you are next yes I can't even read the menu it's so dark in me perhaps you've met him to buffer glass what take off these glasses and reveal these famous eyes hordes of worshipping fans would crush us max I will protect you madam now we're lucky no one is noticed us that's a fan a fan backs please don't let him rip it my clothes don't let him touch my face excuse me yes who are you are there any uh movie stars here no siree movie stars max what am i a pimento loaf ma'am you said you didn't want to be noticed so you're right I'm sorry I am sorry the great Nora Desmond sorry nonsense you are unforgettable of your performance in the Sheep girl at the Bronx we'll live forever Nora Desmond's name will always be magic bread bread the staff of life take away this bread and you will destroy an entire kingdom hey lady take a walk that was a scene from the bread and the kingdom Madam's 1929 classic loved it loved it she mad if he didn't forget hello who are you an ex have some bread I am now going to do a scene from my greatest silent film yes I give me Pippi you're the anger here Hey well applaud you fools applaud the immortal Lord estimate whoo-hoo-hoo you say can you not recognize perfection can y'all not lick agnostic breathlessly there's a mommy star yeah it's Ingrid Albert the Swedish meatball nothing madam it's one of those you'll not telling actresses so a fellow actress how she must idolize me I know I'll autograph a menu for her I'm sure you know who I am yeah I've been betting for you you see max they remember me I think I just have the salad what I said I think I just have the salad you got a cookie here is the dessert [Applause] you [Applause]

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20 Comments

Lisa Nealy · May 15, 2019 at 4:36 pm

Hilarious!!!

Opus Knight · May 15, 2019 at 4:36 pm

The woman was a gem. Loved growing up watching Carol Burnett show, as well as Mama's Family.

randomuser1105 · May 15, 2019 at 4:36 pm

Hm. Not really sure what anyone finds funny about this.

Delia Darling · May 15, 2019 at 4:36 pm

😕 I miss my childhood… Damn I'm old🤣

XxShadowvalkyriexX · May 15, 2019 at 4:36 pm

She is so great and a very source of inspiration. 😂🤣

Iwanta Fennec · May 15, 2019 at 4:36 pm

Good grief Lyle Wagoner was yummy.

Isaias Ramos Garcia · May 15, 2019 at 4:36 pm

Norma Desmon´ds butler and chauffeur was a famous german cinema director. Any one remembers his name?

Elisabeth · May 15, 2019 at 4:36 pm

They try too hard, it’s not funny. What idiots gave Carol a show. This is the biggest unfunny pile of shit I’d ever seen. I guess she’s the best they had back then.

SpiritBear12 · May 15, 2019 at 4:36 pm

Nora Desmond's coat designed and made by Cruela DeVille.

Megan Jordan · May 15, 2019 at 4:36 pm

Another favorite

Largest Classifieds · May 15, 2019 at 4:36 pm

The entire script is insanely funny😂🙃🤓

John Sargeant · May 15, 2019 at 4:36 pm

i used to run home after school to watch the scooby doo mystery hour, followed by Carol Burnett and Friends. ahhhh, nostalgia!

Steven Scott · May 15, 2019 at 4:36 pm

01:56 HOW did he make that <POP!> sound? What is it called?

DJI Drones and Stuff · May 15, 2019 at 4:36 pm

Anyone who’s ever seen the character of Bebe Glazer on Frazier, would swear actress Harriet Harris must have patterned the character after Carol Burnett’s comedic style.

Liam Osburn · May 15, 2019 at 4:36 pm

Have some bread!

Marlon · May 15, 2019 at 4:36 pm

I love Carol… (Lucy too), but Carol is so talented

Ms V · May 15, 2019 at 4:36 pm

Funny there are probably really actresses & actors just LIKE her & them. That headdress of hers though 😆 & other costume oddities ! I grew up watching this show. Harvey Korman, classic. May all who have passed on from her show & others rest. They helped mend the sad soul then, now, & I know were the template shows for SNL, etc. You notice the voice of one particular lady at the end of this skit ? Think of a similar one from SNL ?! 😂 Hint: she is of "Asian" 😆 descent in SNL…

blanche devereaux · May 15, 2019 at 4:36 pm

CB is so incredibly talented!

sejrec56 · May 15, 2019 at 4:36 pm

Not one of her better episodes though, lol

sejrec56 · May 15, 2019 at 4:36 pm

Carol Burnett show was the best live Comedy show

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