Nina Lesiga’s Leopard Print Panty Ride

Published by Darron Toy on

I’d heard about the New York City
No Pants Subway Ride. It’s an international day
of silliness where you board a train and take off your pants. In January. (laughter) I saw all kinds of photos
and videos, but there was never
a plus-size person. It looked like so much fun, but I didn’t think
I’d ever do it. I was afraid of
the public’s reaction. Now, I’m an adventurer,
I’m a solo traveler. And when I was in Vietnam, I tell you,
I hesitated big time because of my size. My tour guide
came to my hotel on her motor scooter
and told me to hop right on. At 57, I had never been on a scooter. And I’ll be honest with you, I was concerned
that we would tip over. I wasn’t going to do it,
but she said with confidence, “I can handle you.” (laughter) I got on. (laughing): I loved it. And I realized that I was being
overly cautious, and it was time to bring
bigger and better adventures into my life. On social media, I saw the invitation
for the No Pants riders. I said yes. But before I could
change my mind, I called all
my family and friends and invited them
to come ride along. (laughter) One by one,
they said the same thing: “You’re on your own.” (laughter) I needed to look good. I started putting
together an outfit. I went to my panty drawer to assess its contents. There wasn’t one pair
suitable for this purpose. I needed to go shopping, and I brought home
a few different pairs and I stood at home
in front of a full-length mirror with a digital camera
in my hand to take photos,
because I wanted to be certain I knew what other people
were seeing. And I wanted it to be
a quality experience for me and the unsuspecting riders. I chose leopard silky panties
with wide-leg black pants. I was ready. I took the railroad
from my home in Connecticut to New York City to a public meeting point
in a park. People welcomed me
with open arms. They said,
“You can do this,” and I thought to myself, “I just spent three hours
getting here, I am taking off my pants.” (laughter) During orientation,
I learned all about the event. It wasn’t haphazard;
you form teams, and each team
was assigned to a subway car, and you were to go into that car
and take off your pants like it’s the most
natural thing in the world. We were each assigned
a particular station to get off in our hat, our scarfs,
our gloves, our coat, and our underpants. If anybody was
to challenge me why I had no pants, I was supposed
to say something like, “I forgot mine.” (laughter) My team walked together
to the Houston Street station, and there I met Bunny Man. He was tall,
handsome, bearded, and he wore the most
spectacular pair of bunny ears. He was wearing a kilt, and in his arms
was a brown paper bag, which he pulled out
a bottle of pink champagne, which he expertly uncorked,
took a big slug, and then passed the bottle
to me. Not wanting to offend
his kind act of hospitality, I drank, too. And Sunday is notorious in New York City
for train delays because of constructions
and rerouting, and this was no exception. When the train pulled up,
it was horribly crowded, and I couldn’t imagine
how I was going to manage taking off my pants
in such a space. Then I thought to myself, with my heart
really beating fast, my mother,
some time during my life, told me not to
get on a crowded train and take off my pants. (laughter) My team members,
I watched them in awe. They just like,
pushed themselves into the car and the doors closed. And as the train pulled out, I was by myself
on the station, and I thought, you need to
abort this mission now. Because, you know,
I was going to board the next train
and take off the pants. I would be the only one
doing it. You know,
the train came right away and there was lots of room. I stepped in,
and I walked to the pole and I grasp it tightly. And as the train jolted, I glanced around,
and then I took my thumb, I stretched the
elastic waistband on my pants, pull them down low enough so I could step
out of them with my leg, held back onto the pole,
released the other hand, and finished.
(laughter) To my left, seated was
an elderly Asian gentleman with shopping bags. The expression on his face read, “Now I’ve seen everything.” (laughter) I looked around,
and no one was watching, no one was looking. I was so surprised
and relieved. After all these weeks
of worry, I felt this bliss move on. As I continued wearing
my leopard print panties, they got lost in
the sea of everything unusual on a New York City subway car. I rode until Union Square, where I met up with hundreds
of No Pants riders, where we took Instagram photos
and we celebrated. On the New York City
No Pants Ride, irregardless of your size,
you belong. The only roadblocks were
those that were in my head. Thank you. (applause)