10 Cheap Vegan Homeless Hacks (Travel + College Meals)

Published by Darron Toy on

what up hello so me and a lot of my friends I think have romanticized homelessness I've slept under some bridges in my day however I would say that this is not for that kind of it's like hipster homelessness like what we did we just went on a 10-day trip so we're like homeless like glamping except for homelessness ah maybe so this is essentially a video for if you're traveling as the title fucking says or you're in college like you just don't have access to a kitchen so look at this 27 cents at Whole Foods I made it work so this is pretty straightforward this is essentially me making a mug cake at Whole Foods now check this out this Whole Foods I figure out where this was was this New Mexico I think so so we live in Dallas and all the Whole Foods and dowsers like so many locations and they all have like a buffet of condiments I mean you can make an epic Meal at the Whole Foods here but this location and all the other ones we went to had like no condiments to choose from so if you can find a good Whole Foods like you can really go far with their condiment bar so this location didn't even have a microwave in the little seating area which surprised me apparently I'm eyebrow when it comes to old foods but I asked the cashier I was like hey do you have a microwave even though like oh just ask the the deli prepared food area yep prepared food so I bought a banana and some oat flour or was that regular flour no that was regular flour and they had some water like a little pitcher of water and I was like this is all I need now the Whole Foods near us has bulk spices I would have bought like a Penny's worth of like cinnamon but they didn't have bulk spices again this is I guess a tiny Whole Foods right yeah and they didn't oh yeah like even a normal Whole Foods in my mind has like free cinnamon like at the coffee bar you know what I'm saying yeah and they're there cinnamon was like behind the counter you know it was like you're not getting shit for free however for 27 cents you know no complaints so I hiked my ass over to the prepared foods and I was like hey can you microwave this for a minute and then I'll just look at it and she was like yes so she microwaved the shit for a minute oh and then I walked by the coffee area and I saw some agave and I dumped some on top afterwards I was like dude is full lawless here is a burrito from Chipotle called three-point burrito so the three points like meat and guacamole are each two points so avoid those like the plague but all the other shit is one point so I got like a tortilla which I guess is no points apparently and then I got rice lettuce was the other thing I got Tomatoes yeah yeah yeah I got those three things and the burrito is like a normal size like you don't feel like you want to die it's like a proper fucking sized burrito and it's under five bucks so you get way less food but it's like a normal portion and it's only $4.75 get a three-pointer is way less calories to that's worth noting and then I went to Taco Bell in New Mexico again this was New Mexico hello this is way too much food I never fucking eat Taco Bell I had no idea how much to order this was like a dollar 50 or something for a burrito and they charged me for fucking lettuce which is cool I get it I think next time I would have just got one burrito and maybe got like an extra scoop of beans for one burrito and said to brevis all right this is back at Whole Foods same location with no fucking free shit dude look at what I found oh these are expensive look at that 769 the ones in Dallas the same exact ones they're $5.99 a pound so I guess that is just a side note but it's wicked cheap look at this it's like I had no idea that this was a travel option this is the best travel option you tried these would you think of other words they were very good would you wash would you consider this like a like a a travel hack a Whole Foods hack I would is legit it's like way cheaper than buying like like a little pint of soup or not a pint like a cup of soup is probably like I don't know three or four bucks yeah it's a lot and here these three together that's a dollar 50 is like holy shit and then I uh I would have just used a microwave in the in the water but like I said the microwave was not really convenient so I just asked the coffee bar for some hot water like give me the largest cup of water and I obviously would have paid for a large cup of water like I'm a classy homeless person you know what I mean like I don't need a handout I need a fucking hot cup of water and I will pay and guess what no charge help yourself so so you just soak them in hot water and like I don't know two minutes later you have the best soup ever I'm so blown away I wish I would have like realized this was an option the split pea which is the middle one is so good and then this curry one is like under salted in case you're into that kind of shit and then I hiked my ass back to Whole Foods and was like all right I will pay more for a smoothie Bowl because I wanted a fucking smoothie Bowl so all of these meals are like wicked cheap except for this it's kind of pricey but we split it we split a smoothie Bowl it was so good well I thought it was epic what did you think it was good I liked it six bucks for two people that's pretty freakin good right yeah so I was like can you just blend up some frozen bananas and she was like we don't have frozen banana so I was like all right just make me a smoothie and just if you can make it thick please do and they had one um one Oh what the fuck is that called oatmeal no no no granola Oh without honey for anyone who gives a flying fuck about that and then a banana is like pennies you know like a little sprinkle of granola is pennies so we got this huge ass smoothie Bowl for like six bucks got some stuff to dazzle you debrie dazzled I was dazzled relight oh my god this is so gourmet and homeless no kitchen required isn't that the best way to be homeless shouldn't homeless only be voluntary poverty healthy homeless and the fam healthy homeless you heard mark say it at hot and ready Little Caesars dude $9 for pizza I feel like I should sing some sort of Oprah like everybody so like dude this was way too much food for two people 13 bucks like 14 bucks whatever it was too much food it was good doubt like so we split a pizza I'm not telling he's a dude homeless for Louis the UM the breadsticks were too much and then this is it is in a now and these dude each burger whatever the fuck veggie burger whatever that whatever you call it is probably like a hundred and fifty calories it's like no food it's like no food but it's also wicked cheap so it's a fair trade it is like you're buying like a little bread and condiments and then we went to Wendy's dude this Wendy's and they spelled my name all crazy and they didn't even charge me for the extra toppings Oh Wendy's website uses all the ingredients like they list out every damn fucking thing so you can get some hummus some chives and then that so that's red pepper hummus or roasted sun-dried tomato hummus I don't know it's some sort of hippie ass hummus and then the other one that you're about to see is quinoa and beans with some like hippie s spices and they didn't even charge me and they spelled my name wrong dude I win incognito and this location was like so fucking like modern and fancy looking but not as awesome as Subway $5.50 we got to split their shoes a fuckload food and they were skimpy she was skimpy on the toppings but uh you know what you get hooked up over here yeah that's true Dallas for life apparently and then here is the one eyed I've heard of this I've never tried it I bought a burrito bowl actually I asked you to do it and you bought a burrito bowl and you say hey can I get tortillas on the side did they ask how many well I said – okay so you asked for – dude these are ridiculous eyes just just ask for some tortillas and walk off and eat them buy them you know eat some driest tortillas that's 300 calories each of fucking that's a fucking feast of a tortilla and then you ask for like double toppings on everything except for guacamole and you're essentially buying two burritos for the price of one burrito so I know Oprah right and I like took my sweet-ass time so the tortillas got a little hard and crunchy but you know what it was worth it for my free fucking burrito my half-price burrito they were pretty much full sized burritos yeah those were huge huge boobs like half price because we split it dude look at that look at that that's a full fucking burrito and then I was like here I'll put the second half in there I usually never eat the fucking tortillas but you know what I was like when in Rome today's today's the day dude this is insane this is so much food we're going to do this kind of thing again for sure like four of everything put some tortillas on the side give yourself a tortilla you deserve something I give that one to you I was like I quit I quit I can't even just throw this away one equals two you'll knock yourself out there's too much food dude I was like uh I was like uh huh just kidding um what else was I going to say about this burrito I was gonna say nothing nothing about this breather at all final final one go to pay way find a pay way hike your ass to this to the front and politely ask for a side of brown rice one side of cooked brown rice is 49 cents you friend you will crush being homeless you will crush college you will have a great road trip as what do you say we had a great road trip we do did we have a delicious road trip we did did we eat way more fast food we'd we'd certainly did we we we did didn't we we did it all for cheap for cheap dude brown rice is where it's at look at that 50 fuckin cents peace